Haram Relationships

عبداللہ بن مسعود‌رضی اللہ عنہ  سے مروی ہے کہ رسول اللہ  ‌صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم ‌نے فرمایا: اللہ تعالیٰ کو سب سے محبوب کلام یہ ہے کہ بندہ کہے: اے اللہ تو پاک ہے اپنی تعریف کے ساتھ، تیرا نام بابرکت ہے، تیری شان بلند ہے، اور تیرے علاوہ کوئی سچا معبود نہیں۔ اور اللہ تعالیٰ کو سب سےنا پسندیدہ بات  یہ لگتی ہے ۔کہ کوئی شخص کسی دوسرے سے کہے: اللہ سے ڈر جا ، تو وہ کہے: خود کو دیکھ.(ا لسلسلۃ الصحیحہ:2809)

Nowadays the biggest dilemma is that we have limited Deen to just prayers ,fasting and pilgrimaje and just cut off the Deen from our daily life affairs. Whenever someone tries to make us realize the things, we present following arguments:

Don’t do Deen patrolling,we know the things better and you should focus on other sins!!

Everyone is a adult and knows better what is right and what is wrong!!!

It’s our personal space, don’t indulge in it!!

The answers to above arguments are :

Allah has mentioned in Quran to encourage others for the noble deeds and prevent from doing evil deeds. So it’s a moral duty of every Muslim! Here how it should be done matters. It should be done in that way that will make person understand the point without hurting that’s person self respect and without being getting judgemental. This is what our Deen teaches!!

 "تم میں سے ایک جماعت ایسی ہونی چائیے جو بھلائی کی طرف بُلائے اور نیک کاموں کا حکم کرے اور بُرے کاموں سے روکے  ، اور یہی لوگ فلاح اور نجات پانے والے ہیں ۔  "( آل عمران:104)

Read the Islamic history, they were adults who were wrong,who didn’t believe in Allah and who were engaged in activities that were disliked by Almighty!!! And they were preached, they were shown the right path and for which Almighty sent Prophets and gifted Holy Books!!So age is not a sign of being right and having enough knowledge . Adults could be wrong and it should not be matter of ego to learn while being an adult!If your personal space is affecting the people around you in any way, then it could not be your personal space!!! And there are some sins which are personal but had a huge devastating effects on society ,so Allah has made every Muslim responsible to stop that sin in every possible dignified and decent way!!! What is wrong is wrong it can’t be justified by the excuse of personal space. If it should so, Prophets would have never preached!!!!So first solution is to accept that what is a sin is a sin. Our personal choices and preferences can’t change the rules. There are certain rules which we have to follow as such without any exuse. Deen is about following every order of Allah not what we like or feel easy to follow . Every single order of Allah is only for the welfare of mankind because only The Creator knows what is best for a human being!!Preaching the order of Allah and stopping from sins is a moral duty!!!

’’ تم میں سے جو شخص منکر ( ناقابل قبول کام ) دیکھے اس پر لازم ہے کہ اسے اپنے ہاتھ ( قوت ) سے بدل دے اور اگر اس کی طاقت نہ رکھتا ہو تو اپنی زبان سے اس کو بدلے اور اگر اس کی بھی طاقت نہ رکھتا ہو تو اپنے دل سے ( اسے برا سمجھے اور اس کے بدلنے کی مثبت تدبیر سوچے ) اور یہ سب سے کمزور ایمان ہے ۔‘‘ (المسلم:177)

Who stops you from the doing disobedience of Almighty,no one can be your better well wisher than that person!

Second solution whenever a person tells you something regarding Deen, don’t think that that person is trying to be pious or making you feel you embarrassed. Just think that your Allah wants you to learn that thing and has made the person a source. It doesn’t matter what the respective person do in it’s personal life and should not be your concern. Focus on the message delivered to you and try to learn what Allah wants you to teach. Because it’s the message which should be followed not the personal life of that particular person.

 "اللّٰہ تعالٰی نے بہترین کلام نازل فرمایا ہے جو ایسی کتاب ہے کہ آپس میں ملتی جلتی اور بار بار دہرائی ہوئی آیتوں کی ہے  جس سے ان لوگوں کے رونگٹے کھڑے ہو جاتے ہیں جو اپنے رب کا خوف رکھتے ہیں  آخر میں ان کے جسم اور دل اللہ تعالٰی کے ذکر کی طرف نرم ہو جاتے ہیں یہ ہے اللہ تعالٰی کہ ہدایت جس کے ذریعہ جسے چاہے راہ راست پر لگا دیتا ہے اور جسے اللہ تعالٰی ہی راہ بھلا دے اس کا ہادی کوئی نہیں ۔  " (الزمر:23)

So if message of Allah reaches you regardless less of the source, consider it a blessing!!!

Coming back to today’s topic of writing, ” Haram Relationships”Why it called so??The answer is very simple, because it is the thing not allowed by Allah and disliked by Allah.

Why this dating culture is prevailing much in our society???

The answer is due to influence of west and urge to follow west in every affair of life.Let me tell you stages of a relationship in west .

Causal dating to know each other. ( you can’t dump the person if you don’t like)

Live in (still you can dump the person if you don’t like no matter how many years you have spend together)

Last is marriage ( few reach this stage and they call it their fortune to get married)No specific rules in first two stages, a person can be used and throw away like tissue paper when the likeness ends!!! Is this dignity of a person???

Watch the survey being conducted in West to see how people of west are sick of this thing but they are helpless to abandon it as it’s their culture but Eastern people want to adopt this non sense culture.

Reasons given for dating:

Finding a person for one’s self:

وَّ  خَلَقۡنٰکُمۡ   اَزۡوَاجًا ۙ﴿۸﴾ "اور ہم نے  تمہیں  جوڑا جوڑا پیدا کیا ۔  "(النبا:8)

Almighty has created everyone in pairs and partner of a particular person is already decided. So now why a human is so desperate to find a partner? Can’t we trust Almighty’s plan!The right person will reach you on right time. You don’t need to worry about it!

To marry the person one like:

Islam is the most modern religion of the world. Allah has given the right to marry the person one like. Liking someone is never the issue , what the person do after it is the problem. There is a very simple solution, if you like someone, contact the parents of respective person and make that person your mehram. What kind of love it is that a person who claims to love someone is not ready to make it’s love it’s respect!!! If someone love someone how that person can give chance to others to make spectacle of it’s love!!!!Who actually loves, immediately make their beloved their mehrams due to fear of losing and due to fear of Allah and to keep their love pure and to save themselves and their partners from hell fire. How exactly a relationship can flourish when it is started on the disobedience of Allah.

دیکھنا بھی تو انھیں دور سے دیکھا کرنا ۔

شیوہ عشق نہیں حسن کو رسوا کرنا۔

If you like someone,be brave enough to accept it and make that person your mehram! When there is a decent way for every thing why we are interested in illegal ways!!! There is nothing more shameful than to be called someone bf/gf . It clearly shows that a person doesn’t love you enough to make you life partner!!!

Disvantages of dating:

It can lead to adultery. Now how it possible.

  " خبردار! جب بھی کوئی مرد کسی عورت کے ساتھ خلوت میں ہوتا ہے تو ان کے ساتھ تیسرا شیطان ہوتا ہے"(الترمذی:2165)

There is a hidden wisdom behind every order of Allah. When something can lead to destruction ,then why to take risk.

Anger of Allah:

When a thing is started against the orders of Allah and set limits of Allah, obviously it leads to anger of Allah and nothing can be more worst than losing Allah.Can Haram Relationships are worthy enough to make Allah angry, to afford Allah’s anger?When Allah has told decent and dignified ways, why not to adopt them?

Restlessness and anxiety:

Haram Relationships bring restlessness and anxiety because a person can go to every limit to please it’s partner and when the things don’t work and break up happens,one of the person get broken and fell in depression!!!It’s a fact that mostly people use each other for time pass in a relationship. Slowly slowly loses modesty and cross every set moral limit and when it happens so nothing is left behind except the suicidal thoughts!

Can a few months love is more than your dignity? Why you are letting someone to play with your emotions which were supposed to be for one particular mehram person? Why to waste the emotions on wrong person.

Surveys show you that ultimate result of Haram Relationships is break up , losing one’s dignity and respect and most important losing Allah’s love. And there is no one specific person. People will change the person they claim to love like clothes. Don’t be a fool. Realize your worth. Don’t allow someone to play with your emotions and dignity. If someone loves you, ask that person to approach you in dignified way rather these illegal ways! Save your emotions for the right person. Those who actually love will keep their love pure and will never do anything that will hurt your dignity!! Be aware of wrong people!! Try to learn the difference between love and lust .Trust Allah’s plan because the right person will reach you at right time.

May Allah save us from everything that can distract us and can lead to anger of Allah. May Allah keep all of us on hidyat and keep all of us in His Amaan. Ameen.

Written by Muskan Malik.

https://youtu.be/2Gexdfvgk9o