My name is marraym. I m a student of famous art university. As in fashion conscious society i was also conscious about my looks how i look i have tried all kind of fashions i use to have so expensive makeup just to look good. So many outfits shoes nail paints hair accessories everything. I was a on and off hijabi till college when i got in to college things become critical i got in to wrong company and more wrong things i couldn’t focus on my famliy anymore my studies were dear to me but i lost interest it hurted me the most fast forward at the end of college covid started and now things got real real toughAs allah swt has said that he will us us by thick and thin same was for me i was not so religious at that time i was addicted to music from like 7th grade i knew all the new songs in the market. For me the goodness of heart was important but i always had a wish to change myself cause i knew i was at wrong path but i couldn’t changed but if you intend have good intentions allah swt will changed you and if you ask him guidance he will guide you. I was not praying i was not opening the quran. Covid changed me i got seriously depressed i got fear anxiety i lost my appetite i lost interest in everything but the passage of time i was feeling heavy nad even heavier. My heart was not at peace . Then i saw some Islamic videos i don’t know how but it came to my suggestions i remembered that i was sitting on the prayer mat and crying asking allah swt for guidance and support and help i spent like 8 to 9 months like that and started reciting quran still something was missing. I was trying to find the answer. I got in more bad habits because i was looking for the peace of my heartAs allah swt say that the peace is in the remembrance of allah. But didn’t know that i was doing things wrong way if your following allah swt rules then you have to give up bad habits as well those were tough for me and my weak point. Then i got addmission and my online session started but still i was asking allah to guide me to straight path and make my heart peaceful. Then my university started for short period and i got back home. There was much pain inside me i couldn’t explain i was afraid to make friends and talk to people. I left my all dear friends year ago when the covid started. I contacted my friend she helped me out heard my pain and told me allah swt is Merciful. Then i started listening to youth club and their videos i was moved to tears. It started listening the translation of surah yousaf i felt like it was so relatable to me. I realized that if hazart yousaf as gave up haram for allah swt he rewarded him in the end and things took a huge turn here i started looking into quran what it says my life was slowly getting better i was taking6 care of myself again and i was doing those things that allah swt love. I listened to the translation of i think 3 first surah of quran and i decided i learn quran and want to know the real meaning of quran. I was trying for allah swt and my life was slowly getting better by the mercy of allah swt but the best is yet to come. My university started and got back to university i left music first for allah swt and i was also investigating about hijab in islam and slowly started wearing abaya in university and things got more better then one day my cousin told me she is taking online classes of quran tafseer marryam why don’t you join i joined the first day my teacher may allah swt bless her every minute of the day she was talking about hijab about how to protect your beauty my class fellows were so good they welcomed me with so much love i thought these are people who are learning about allah’s deen and look at their ikhlaq so slowly slowly i was taking my quran class i help me alot i started doing parda and now i wear even gloves in my university and it gave me so much much contentment and peace to my heart. It helped me alot in leaving all those those bad habits and i left makeup i don’t like myself without my parda i love it so much now it was tough but allah swt helped me alot whenever i call upon him he surly responded to me that’s the most beloved ayah of quran because he actually listen he always checks the sincerity and devotion in your heart towards him. I m so so glad that allah swt has given me my peace of heart back if i look back and say that what was happend to me was for my betterment and i love myself now because i follow the rules of allah swt now. I don’t have fears nowI have so many people around who love me nowI don’t feel depressed anymoreI face difficulties sometimes the fashion trends our society set are so toxic even I don’t feel comfortable around even girls And message to sisters Never show your awrah your beauty to anyone except your mehramsParda and hijab protects you from evil eye of people and you will be recognized by other men You are special and only special people can see you and your beauty that are you Mehrums Things i realized and message to Muslim ummahNever question allah swt that he put you in certain conditions because it was for your bettermentNever leave your daily prayers nad quran recite it daily even its 2 linesNever lose hopeHave sincere intentions toward Allah swt he will never leave you alone and try to impress him than other peopleCall upon allah when you have no one to rely upon He will hold you when you are about to drown Never trust shatain trap that allah swt will not forgive you he is most Forgiving indeed Be thankful he will give you moreI thank Allah swt for everything now as i m a hijabi now he protected me guided me nad i keep on asking for his forgiveness and guidelines till the day of judgment
May allah swt bless all
Written by : Maryam
